The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster

"I know one thing for certain; it's much harder to tell whether you ARE lost than whether you WERE lost, for, on many occasions, where you're going is exactly where you are. On the other hand, you often find that where you've been is not at all where you should have gone, and, since it's much more difficult to find your way back from someplace you've never left, I suggest you go there immediately and then decide."

The fattest thin man in the world